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Розовая пантера (The Pink Panther) (2006)

Год: 

2006

Слоган: 

«Ахтунг! Лучший сыщик выходит на охоту!»

Страна: 

США, Чехия

Жанр: 

комедия, криминал, детектив,


приключения, семейный

Режиссер: 

Шон Леви

Сценарий: 

Лен Блум, Стив Мартин, Майкл Солтцмэн

В ролях: 

Стив Мартин, Кевин Клайн, Жан Рено,


Эмили Мортимер, Генри Черни, Кристин Ченоуэт, Бейонсе Ноулз, Уильям Абади, Роджер Рис, Филлип Гудвин

С руки застреленного легендарного футбольного тренера исчезает огромный бриллиант, известный как «Розовая пантера». Расследование инцидента поручается недотепе-инспектору Клузо.

По дате

По рейтингу

Вам не кажется странным, что тело упало именно туда, где мелом начерчена фигура?

инспектор Жак Клузо

смешные цитаты

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— Что с ним?
— Выстрел в голову.
— Исход летальный?
— Да.
— Насколько?
— На все сто.
— Я должен его допросить!
— Но он мертв.
— Черт!

инспектор Жак Клузо

Жильбер Понтон

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— Вы мне, как брат!
— О…
— Красивый, сексуальный брат в женской одежде!

Николь

инспектор Жак Клузо

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Женщина как кокос. Нужно много трудиться, чтобы достичь её сердца.

Цитата на английском

инспектор Жак Клузо

женщины

сравнение

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— Вы живете один?
— Да.
— И вам не одиноко?
— Нет, у меня дома интернет.

Николь

инспектор Жак Клузо

одиночество

Интернет, сеть

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— Я не убивал его, но я рад, что он кормит червей.
— Он не кормит червей! Он мертв!
— Это идиома.
— Сами вы это идиома!

инспектор Жак Клузо

Бизу

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  • Розовая пантера (The Pink Panther) (2006)

The Pink Panther

The Pink Panther

Edit

  • [Clouseau bumps into a woman dressed as Cleopatra. He hands back her rubber snake]
  • Woman: Take your filthy hands off my asp!
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [having stepped on and broken the violin] It’s no matter. When you’ve seen one Stradivarius, you’ve seen them all.
  • [At a costume ball, a police sergeant costumed as a zebra drinks from the punch bowl]
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Any more behaviour like this and I’ll have your stripes!
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: We must find that woman!
  • [slides off the globe]
  • [Having made her tipsy with champagne, Sir Charles Lytton kisses Princess Dala]
  • Princess Dala: If I were my father, I’d have you tortured.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: No. If you were your father, I wouldn’t have kissed you.
  • [last lines]
  • Police escort: Tell me, inspector — Signor Phantom — all those robberies. How did you ever manage it?
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, you know… it wasn’t easy.
  • [first lines]
  • Gem dealer 1: As in every stone of this size, there is a flaw.
  • Sultan: A flaw?
  • Gem dealer 2: The slightest flaw, your excellency.
  • Gem dealer 1: If you look deep into the stone, you will perceive the tiniest discoloration. It resembles an animal.
  • Sultan: An animal?
  • Gem dealer 1: A little panther.
  • Sultan: Yes! A pink panther. Come here, Dala. A gift to your father from his grateful people. Some day it will be yours. The most fabulous diamond in all the world. Come closer.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: [dressed as a gorilla] Hi George. Any idea how we get out of here?
  • George Lytton: [dressed as a gorilla] I don’t know. I’ve been all over this place. I’ve been up this street, up that one, up that one. How are we gonna get out here?
  • Sir Charles Lytton: [dressed as a gorilla] Why don’t you try the high road up there?
  • George Lytton: [dressed as a gorilla] Okay. I’ll take the high road, you take the low road. So long, Uncle Charles.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: [dressed as a gorilla] Ciao, George.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Simone! Where is my Surété-Scotland-Yard-type mackintosh?
  • Princess Dala: [tipsy from champagne] I was three years old when I rode my first elephant. I was — six, when I went on my first zsrafari… frazari… wild animal hunt. And I was ten, when I bagged my first tiger. But Ill never forget, my lovely little pony.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: When’d you bag him?
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: At times like this, I wish I was but a simple peasant.
  • Simone Clouseau: It’s times like this that make me realize how lucky I really am.
  • Simone Clouseau: If I’m not being too nosy your highness, I read somewhere there was some dispute over the ownership of the Pink Panther.
  • Princess Dala: It belongs to me. It was a gift from my late father. I shall never surrender it.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Why should you?
  • Princess Dala: When the present government seized power, they claimed the diamond was the property of the people. There’s even some talk of the international court deciding the issue.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: I’ll tell you what, why don’t I steal the diamond, leave that old glove or whatever it is behind, and you and I can split the insurance.
  • Princess Dala: All right.
  • George Lytton: I feel like dancing.
  • [to Princess Dala]
  • George Lytton: Your Highness?
  • Princess Dala: I’d love to.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: [to Simone] How about you, Madame?
  • Simone Clouseau: Yes, of course.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Your leg is better, Sir. Charles?
  • Sir Charles Lytton: What?
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I say your leg is better.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Oh, yes. Much better. Thank you.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You know, Mr. Tucker…
  • [scalds his hand]
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Argh!
  • [put his burnt hand into Mr. Tucker’s beer]
  • Tucker: That’s my beer, old man.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I am willing to bet you ten thousand francs, that the phantom is in Cortina at this very moment. Even, perhaps, in this very room.
  • Simone Clouseau: How exciting. What do you think, Mr. Tucker?
  • Tucker: Oh, I agree with the inspector. You see, Ten of his last fifteen victims have been guests at Angela Dunning’s parties.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: What are we all talking about?
  • Simone Clouseau: The notorious Phantom.
  • Princess Dala: I’m afraid I never heard of him.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: From the little I’ve read about him, he seems to be quite a fellow.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Believe me. There are few thieves who are as clever as the Phantom. Each theft is completely different and unique, classic in its conception.
  • George Lytton: I thought you were working on the theory that he does repeat himself.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, only as far as Angela Dunning’s parties are concerned. However, there is one other duplication, but that is his ah… trademark, his calling card, so to speak. He always leaves a white monogrammed glove.
  • Princess Dala: Sounds terribly theatrical.
  • Tucker: Your Highness, if I were the Phantom, I’d have chosen my victim already.
  • Princess Dala: Really? And who would that be?
  • Tucker: Well, who owns the most fabulous diamond in the world?
  • Princess Dala: I suppose I do.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Exactly. The Pink Panther. Such a prize he could never resist. He would be bound to try for it.
  • Princess Dala: I’m afraid he’d be disappointed. The Pink Panther is in my safe, at…
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [interrupting] Your Highness, please. Don’t say it, not here.
  • George Lytton: You’ve been avoiding me.
  • Simone Clouseau: That about describes it.
  • George Lytton: You know what l’ve been thinking?
  • Simone Clouseau: Yes. That’s why l’ve been avoiding you.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: What kind of candle is zis?
  • [first title card]
  • Title card: Once upon a time
  • Woman: I’ve never really known another man like him. He can keep ten girls in the air at once and make each one happy.
  • Princess Dala: Amazing, sort of a contemporary Don Juan?
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Hello, old bean. Your company insures the Pink Panther.
  • Tucker: Yes, for half a million.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Pounds?
  • Tucker: Sterling.
  • Princess Dala: l’ve read about some of his parties.
  • Monica Fawn: They’re wonderful! We call him the Juggler. l’ve never really known a man like him. He can keep ten girls in the air at once and make each one happy.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Aren’t you drinking?
  • Princess Dala: l don’t drink.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Not ever?
  • Princess Dala: l’m quite content with reality. l have no need for escape.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Well, l enjoy reality as much as the next man. lt’s just that in my case, fortunately, reality includes a good stiff belt every now and then. On the other hand, l don’t smoke.
  • Princess Dala: You’re right. lt’s a nasty habit.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Here’s to all those nasty little habits that we hold so dear.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: lf my little pigeon wants a glass of milk, she shall have one!
  • Princess Dala: Sort of a contemporary Don Juan.
  • Monica Fawn: That’s it.
  • Felix Townes: Ah, there’s a difference! Charles predecessor was forced to climb balconies and fight duels, and, as l understand it, to keep his women separate and apart. Now, Charles, on the other hand, drives a Ferrari, enters with a key, and resorts to collective bargaining.
  • Angela Dunning: Oh-ohh!
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: ln a strange way, you know, one has to admire this man, he’s, eh, how would you say? a unique flair for the dramatic. He actually waved goodbye to me.
  • Hotel Manager: Fascinating.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: But this time, gentlemen, l shall be waving goodbye to him — on his way to prison.
  • Princess Dala: l hadn’t realized it was so late.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Come in, sit down, relax. Have a nice glass of champagne.
  • Princess Dala: l told you, l don’t drink.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Oh, champagne’s not drinking. lt’s the minimum of alcohol and the maximum of companionship.
  • Princess Dala: You didn’t tell me the truth.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: About what?
  • Princess Dala: About champagne! About this. Oh, boy, did you fib. You said — something about extremes.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: lt does wonders for them.
  • Princess Dala: lt does more than that. lt makes your lips numb. Ah, l can’t feel them. Are they still there?
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Let’s have a look.
  • Princess Dala: You didn’t tell me about that part.
  • [kiss]
  • Princess Dala: Won’t do you any good. l can’t feel it!
  • Sir Charles Lytton: You have presented the press with a rather definite image.
  • Princess Dala: Yes, l know.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Well, are you?
  • Princess Dala: What?
  • Sir Charles Lytton: What they call you? The Virgin Queen?
  • Princess Dala: l’m not a queen.
  • Princess Dala: l’m plastered. If that’s the right expression.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Yes, that’s the right expression.
  • Princess Dala: You’re a fraud and a liar. And you think you are going to take advantage of me.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Oh, no. You think l am.
  • Princess Dala: l know you are. That’s the plan, isn’t it? Feed me champagne, break down the inhibitions, and tally-ho! No more Virgin Queen.
  • Princess Dala: lf you had known my father, you would understand me. He was an absolute ruler. He governed his people with an iron hand. But he gave me a white pony for my fifth birthday. He was wrong about many things, but he made his decisions according to the ways of his predecessors. l learned the way of the West, so l’ve become a little of both, a paradox. And it is hard to reconcile the extremes.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Have a glass of champagne. Does wonders for extremes. lt’s been known to launch some lasting friendships. Don’t you trust me?
  • Princess Dala: No.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: You’re not concerned about what happened, you’re worried about what might have happened. And that makes you vulnerable. That makes you a woman.
  • Princess Dala: You’re an arrogant fool.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Perhaps l am. But after what l just said, a real woman would have slapped my face.
  • [Princess starts to slap Sir Charles, but, laughs instead]
  • Simone Clouseau: Jacques would make a wonderful father. He has many redeeming qualities, you know.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Name one.
  • Simone Clouseau: Oh, he’s kind, loyal, faithful, obedient.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: You’re either married to a Boy Scout or a dachshund.
  • Simone Clouseau: And he adores me.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: That eliminates the Boy Scouts.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: The majority of women, they have half a glass too much and let down the barriers a little. And they wake up in the morning, riddled with guilt and think they can reclaim their virtue by saying »l don’t remember.»
  • Princess Dala: Are you saying my virtue is not intact?
  • Sir Charles Lytton: He’s just a young man who’s not been out in the world.
  • Simone Clouseau: That’s because he’s been spending all his time in a bedroom.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: [spanks Simone’s bottom] l’m surprised at you!
  • Simone Clouseau: Oh, l can handle it.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: You’re being ridiculous.
  • Simone Clouseau: No. l’m just being a woman. This time you’ve chosen yourself a fascinating victim. I suspect you’ve broken the first rule and allowed yourself to become involved.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: You’re being a woman, all right.
  • [kiss]
  • Simone Clouseau: That’s obvious. Competition always makes a woman obvious.
  • Simone Clouseau: George — Oh!
  • [stumbles on the bed]
  • George Lytton: Well, that’s more like it.
  • Simone Clouseau: Now, you should be ashamed of yourself.
  • George Lytton: Oh, l’m planning on it.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: My darling. Oh, my darling, don’t move, don’t panic. All that has happened is that my hat has caught in one of your naughty little hairpins. Voila.
  • George Lytton: You’re beautiful.
  • Simone Clouseau: Now stop this, George. You must get out of here.
  • George Lytton: You are the damnedest woman l’ve ever met. What are you? A sexual yo-yo? First you jump in my bed. Then you push me off a mountain. Then you practically seduce me on the dance floor.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: There are some very strange things going on here.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Tuck into some of that porridge, lnspector. It’s guaranteed good for sleuthing.
  • George Lytton: When l was thrown out of college, l made up my mind. l decided to live a little. l knew if l continued my academic endeavors l knew I could depend upon that check of yours. You know what l did? l took a plush Hollywood apartment. Surrounded myself with all of the — advantages of a wealthy bachelor. And I sent you glowing reports of a brilliant academic career.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Well, I suppose a certain amount of dishonesty is bound to beget a certain amount of dishonesty.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Darling. l’m so sorry. l was trying to kiss your foot.
  • Simone Clouseau: That’s all right, my dear.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Let me kiss your face.
  • Simone Clouseau: lt’s all right.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: My darling. l’m sorry. Come here. That’s it. Nice and comfortable on the bed there.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: My darling, listen. Why don’t l have a nice bath? And afterwards, we have our lovely warm bed.
  • Tucker: [after Clouseau, having burned his hand on the fireplace hood, jams it into his tall beer mug] My beer, old man.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I’m sorry.
  • [He tries to pull his hand out but it’s stuck]
  • Sir Charles Lytton: [dressed in gorilla suit] Come back. It’s me.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [chasing after the diamond thief] Come on, now! Faster! Faster!
  • [toots horn]
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: What’s the matter with you? Can’t you drive this thing faster?
  • [toots horn]
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Come on. I tell you, this is the road they’ve gone up.
  • [toots horn]
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Don’t argue with me. I’m telling you, I know where they’ve gone!

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David Niven, Peter Sellers, Capucine, Claudia Cardinale, and Robert Wagner in The Pink Panther (1963)

What was the official certification given to The Pink Panther (1963) in Mexico?

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The Pink Panther

The Pink Panther

Edit

  • [Clouseau bumps into a woman dressed as Cleopatra. He hands back her rubber snake]
  • Woman: Take your filthy hands off my asp!
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [having stepped on and broken the violin] It’s no matter. When you’ve seen one Stradivarius, you’ve seen them all.
  • [At a costume ball, a police sergeant costumed as a zebra drinks from the punch bowl]
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Any more behaviour like this and I’ll have your stripes!
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: We must find that woman!
  • [slides off the globe]
  • [Having made her tipsy with champagne, Sir Charles Lytton kisses Princess Dala]
  • Princess Dala: If I were my father, I’d have you tortured.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: No. If you were your father, I wouldn’t have kissed you.
  • [last lines]
  • Police escort: Tell me, inspector — Signor Phantom — all those robberies. How did you ever manage it?
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, you know… it wasn’t easy.
  • [first lines]
  • Gem dealer 1: As in every stone of this size, there is a flaw.
  • Sultan: A flaw?
  • Gem dealer 2: The slightest flaw, your excellency.
  • Gem dealer 1: If you look deep into the stone, you will perceive the tiniest discoloration. It resembles an animal.
  • Sultan: An animal?
  • Gem dealer 1: A little panther.
  • Sultan: Yes! A pink panther. Come here, Dala. A gift to your father from his grateful people. Some day it will be yours. The most fabulous diamond in all the world. Come closer.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: [dressed as a gorilla] Hi George. Any idea how we get out of here?
  • George Lytton: [dressed as a gorilla] I don’t know. I’ve been all over this place. I’ve been up this street, up that one, up that one. How are we gonna get out here?
  • Sir Charles Lytton: [dressed as a gorilla] Why don’t you try the high road up there?
  • George Lytton: [dressed as a gorilla] Okay. I’ll take the high road, you take the low road. So long, Uncle Charles.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: [dressed as a gorilla] Ciao, George.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Simone! Where is my Surété-Scotland-Yard-type mackintosh?
  • Princess Dala: [tipsy from champagne] I was three years old when I rode my first elephant. I was — six, when I went on my first zsrafari… frazari… wild animal hunt. And I was ten, when I bagged my first tiger. But Ill never forget, my lovely little pony.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: When’d you bag him?
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: At times like this, I wish I was but a simple peasant.
  • Simone Clouseau: It’s times like this that make me realize how lucky I really am.
  • Simone Clouseau: If I’m not being too nosy your highness, I read somewhere there was some dispute over the ownership of the Pink Panther.
  • Princess Dala: It belongs to me. It was a gift from my late father. I shall never surrender it.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Why should you?
  • Princess Dala: When the present government seized power, they claimed the diamond was the property of the people. There’s even some talk of the international court deciding the issue.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: I’ll tell you what, why don’t I steal the diamond, leave that old glove or whatever it is behind, and you and I can split the insurance.
  • Princess Dala: All right.
  • George Lytton: I feel like dancing.
  • [to Princess Dala]
  • George Lytton: Your Highness?
  • Princess Dala: I’d love to.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: [to Simone] How about you, Madame?
  • Simone Clouseau: Yes, of course.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Your leg is better, Sir. Charles?
  • Sir Charles Lytton: What?
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I say your leg is better.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Oh, yes. Much better. Thank you.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You know, Mr. Tucker…
  • [scalds his hand]
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Argh!
  • [put his burnt hand into Mr. Tucker’s beer]
  • Tucker: That’s my beer, old man.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I am willing to bet you ten thousand francs, that the phantom is in Cortina at this very moment. Even, perhaps, in this very room.
  • Simone Clouseau: How exciting. What do you think, Mr. Tucker?
  • Tucker: Oh, I agree with the inspector. You see, Ten of his last fifteen victims have been guests at Angela Dunning’s parties.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: What are we all talking about?
  • Simone Clouseau: The notorious Phantom.
  • Princess Dala: I’m afraid I never heard of him.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: From the little I’ve read about him, he seems to be quite a fellow.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Believe me. There are few thieves who are as clever as the Phantom. Each theft is completely different and unique, classic in its conception.
  • George Lytton: I thought you were working on the theory that he does repeat himself.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, only as far as Angela Dunning’s parties are concerned. However, there is one other duplication, but that is his ah… trademark, his calling card, so to speak. He always leaves a white monogrammed glove.
  • Princess Dala: Sounds terribly theatrical.
  • Tucker: Your Highness, if I were the Phantom, I’d have chosen my victim already.
  • Princess Dala: Really? And who would that be?
  • Tucker: Well, who owns the most fabulous diamond in the world?
  • Princess Dala: I suppose I do.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Exactly. The Pink Panther. Such a prize he could never resist. He would be bound to try for it.
  • Princess Dala: I’m afraid he’d be disappointed. The Pink Panther is in my safe, at…
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [interrupting] Your Highness, please. Don’t say it, not here.
  • George Lytton: You’ve been avoiding me.
  • Simone Clouseau: That about describes it.
  • George Lytton: You know what l’ve been thinking?
  • Simone Clouseau: Yes. That’s why l’ve been avoiding you.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: What kind of candle is zis?
  • [first title card]
  • Title card: Once upon a time
  • Woman: I’ve never really known another man like him. He can keep ten girls in the air at once and make each one happy.
  • Princess Dala: Amazing, sort of a contemporary Don Juan?
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Hello, old bean. Your company insures the Pink Panther.
  • Tucker: Yes, for half a million.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Pounds?
  • Tucker: Sterling.
  • Princess Dala: l’ve read about some of his parties.
  • Monica Fawn: They’re wonderful! We call him the Juggler. l’ve never really known a man like him. He can keep ten girls in the air at once and make each one happy.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Aren’t you drinking?
  • Princess Dala: l don’t drink.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Not ever?
  • Princess Dala: l’m quite content with reality. l have no need for escape.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Well, l enjoy reality as much as the next man. lt’s just that in my case, fortunately, reality includes a good stiff belt every now and then. On the other hand, l don’t smoke.
  • Princess Dala: You’re right. lt’s a nasty habit.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Here’s to all those nasty little habits that we hold so dear.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: lf my little pigeon wants a glass of milk, she shall have one!
  • Princess Dala: Sort of a contemporary Don Juan.
  • Monica Fawn: That’s it.
  • Felix Townes: Ah, there’s a difference! Charles predecessor was forced to climb balconies and fight duels, and, as l understand it, to keep his women separate and apart. Now, Charles, on the other hand, drives a Ferrari, enters with a key, and resorts to collective bargaining.
  • Angela Dunning: Oh-ohh!
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: ln a strange way, you know, one has to admire this man, he’s, eh, how would you say? a unique flair for the dramatic. He actually waved goodbye to me.
  • Hotel Manager: Fascinating.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: But this time, gentlemen, l shall be waving goodbye to him — on his way to prison.
  • Princess Dala: l hadn’t realized it was so late.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Come in, sit down, relax. Have a nice glass of champagne.
  • Princess Dala: l told you, l don’t drink.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Oh, champagne’s not drinking. lt’s the minimum of alcohol and the maximum of companionship.
  • Princess Dala: You didn’t tell me the truth.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: About what?
  • Princess Dala: About champagne! About this. Oh, boy, did you fib. You said — something about extremes.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: lt does wonders for them.
  • Princess Dala: lt does more than that. lt makes your lips numb. Ah, l can’t feel them. Are they still there?
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Let’s have a look.
  • Princess Dala: You didn’t tell me about that part.
  • [kiss]
  • Princess Dala: Won’t do you any good. l can’t feel it!
  • Sir Charles Lytton: You have presented the press with a rather definite image.
  • Princess Dala: Yes, l know.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Well, are you?
  • Princess Dala: What?
  • Sir Charles Lytton: What they call you? The Virgin Queen?
  • Princess Dala: l’m not a queen.
  • Princess Dala: l’m plastered. If that’s the right expression.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Yes, that’s the right expression.
  • Princess Dala: You’re a fraud and a liar. And you think you are going to take advantage of me.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Oh, no. You think l am.
  • Princess Dala: l know you are. That’s the plan, isn’t it? Feed me champagne, break down the inhibitions, and tally-ho! No more Virgin Queen.
  • Princess Dala: lf you had known my father, you would understand me. He was an absolute ruler. He governed his people with an iron hand. But he gave me a white pony for my fifth birthday. He was wrong about many things, but he made his decisions according to the ways of his predecessors. l learned the way of the West, so l’ve become a little of both, a paradox. And it is hard to reconcile the extremes.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Have a glass of champagne. Does wonders for extremes. lt’s been known to launch some lasting friendships. Don’t you trust me?
  • Princess Dala: No.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: You’re not concerned about what happened, you’re worried about what might have happened. And that makes you vulnerable. That makes you a woman.
  • Princess Dala: You’re an arrogant fool.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Perhaps l am. But after what l just said, a real woman would have slapped my face.
  • [Princess starts to slap Sir Charles, but, laughs instead]
  • Simone Clouseau: Jacques would make a wonderful father. He has many redeeming qualities, you know.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Name one.
  • Simone Clouseau: Oh, he’s kind, loyal, faithful, obedient.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: You’re either married to a Boy Scout or a dachshund.
  • Simone Clouseau: And he adores me.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: That eliminates the Boy Scouts.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: The majority of women, they have half a glass too much and let down the barriers a little. And they wake up in the morning, riddled with guilt and think they can reclaim their virtue by saying »l don’t remember.»
  • Princess Dala: Are you saying my virtue is not intact?
  • Sir Charles Lytton: He’s just a young man who’s not been out in the world.
  • Simone Clouseau: That’s because he’s been spending all his time in a bedroom.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: [spanks Simone’s bottom] l’m surprised at you!
  • Simone Clouseau: Oh, l can handle it.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: You’re being ridiculous.
  • Simone Clouseau: No. l’m just being a woman. This time you’ve chosen yourself a fascinating victim. I suspect you’ve broken the first rule and allowed yourself to become involved.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: You’re being a woman, all right.
  • [kiss]
  • Simone Clouseau: That’s obvious. Competition always makes a woman obvious.
  • Simone Clouseau: George — Oh!
  • [stumbles on the bed]
  • George Lytton: Well, that’s more like it.
  • Simone Clouseau: Now, you should be ashamed of yourself.
  • George Lytton: Oh, l’m planning on it.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: My darling. Oh, my darling, don’t move, don’t panic. All that has happened is that my hat has caught in one of your naughty little hairpins. Voila.
  • George Lytton: You’re beautiful.
  • Simone Clouseau: Now stop this, George. You must get out of here.
  • George Lytton: You are the damnedest woman l’ve ever met. What are you? A sexual yo-yo? First you jump in my bed. Then you push me off a mountain. Then you practically seduce me on the dance floor.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: There are some very strange things going on here.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Tuck into some of that porridge, lnspector. It’s guaranteed good for sleuthing.
  • George Lytton: When l was thrown out of college, l made up my mind. l decided to live a little. l knew if l continued my academic endeavors l knew I could depend upon that check of yours. You know what l did? l took a plush Hollywood apartment. Surrounded myself with all of the — advantages of a wealthy bachelor. And I sent you glowing reports of a brilliant academic career.
  • Sir Charles Lytton: Well, I suppose a certain amount of dishonesty is bound to beget a certain amount of dishonesty.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Darling. l’m so sorry. l was trying to kiss your foot.
  • Simone Clouseau: That’s all right, my dear.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Let me kiss your face.
  • Simone Clouseau: lt’s all right.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: My darling. l’m sorry. Come here. That’s it. Nice and comfortable on the bed there.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: My darling, listen. Why don’t l have a nice bath? And afterwards, we have our lovely warm bed.
  • Tucker: [after Clouseau, having burned his hand on the fireplace hood, jams it into his tall beer mug] My beer, old man.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I’m sorry.
  • [He tries to pull his hand out but it’s stuck]
  • Sir Charles Lytton: [dressed in gorilla suit] Come back. It’s me.
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [chasing after the diamond thief] Come on, now! Faster! Faster!
  • [toots horn]
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: What’s the matter with you? Can’t you drive this thing faster?
  • [toots horn]
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Come on. I tell you, this is the road they’ve gone up.
  • [toots horn]
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Don’t argue with me. I’m telling you, I know where they’ve gone!

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David Niven, Peter Sellers, Capucine, Claudia Cardinale, and Robert Wagner in The Pink Panther (1963)

What was the official certification given to The Pink Panther (1963) in Mexico?

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Inspector: You know, Mr. Tucker…

[burns hand]

Argh!

[put his burnt hand into Mr. Tucker’s beer]

Tucker: That’s my beer, old man.

Tucker: Your Highness, if I were the Phantom, I’d have chosen my victim already.

Princess: Really? And who would that be?

Tucker: Well, who owns the most fabulous diamond in the world?

Princess: I suppose I do.

Inspector: Exactly. The Pink Panther. Such a prize he could never resist. He would be bound to try for it.

Princess Dala: I’m afraid he’d be disappointed. The Pink Panther is in my safe, at…

Inspector: [interrupting]

Your Highness, please. Don’t say it, not here.

George: When l was thrown out of college, l made up my mind. l decided to live a little. l knew if l continued my academic endeavors l knew I could depend upon that check of yours. You know what l did? l took a plush Hollywood apartment. Surrounded myself with all of the — advantages of a wealthy bachelor. And I sent you glowing reports of a brilliant academic career.

Charles: Well, I suppose a certain amount of dishonesty is bound to beget a certain amount of dishonesty.

Princess: l hadn’t realized it was so late.

Charles: Come in, sit down, relax. Have a nice glass of champagne.

Princess: l told you, l don’t drink.

Charles: Oh, champagne’s not drinking. lt’s the minimum of alcohol and the maximum of companionship.

Inspector: ln a strange way, you know, one has to admire this man, he’s, eh, how would you say? a unique flair for the dramatic. He actually waved goodbye to me.

Hotel Manager: Fascinating.

Inspector: But this time, gentlemen, l shall be waving goodbye to him on his way to prison.

Charles: Tuck into some of that porridge, lnspector. It’s guaranteed good for sleuthing.

George: You’re beautiful.

Simone: Now stop this, George. You must get out of here.

George: You are the damnedest woman l’ve ever met. What are you? A sexual yo-yo? First you jump in my bed. Then you push me off a mountain. Then you practically seduce me on the dance floor.

Simone: Jacques would make a wonderful father. He has many redeeming qualities, you know.

Charles: Name one.

Simone: Oh, he’s kind, loyal, faithful, obedient.

Charles: You’re either married to a Boy Scout or a dachshund.

Simone: And he adores me.

Charles: That eliminates the Boy Scouts.

Police escort: Tell me, inspector Signor Phantom all those robberies. How did you ever manage it?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, you know… it wasn’t easy.

lf my little pigeon wants a glass of milk, she shall have one!

My darling, listen. Why don’t l have a nice bath? And afterwards, we have our lovely warm bed.

Charles: You’re not concerned about what happened, you’re worried about what might have happened. And that makes you vulnerable. That makes you a woman.

Princess: You’re an arrogant fool.

Charles: Perhaps l am. But after what l just said, a real woman would have slapped my face.

Charles: Aren’t you drinking?

Princess: l don’t drink.

Charles: Not ever?

Princess : l’m quite content with reality. l have no need for escape.

Charles: Well, l enjoy reality as much as the next man. lt’s just that in my case, fortunately, reality includes a good stiff belt every now and then. On the other hand, l don’t smoke.

Princess: You’re right. lt’s a nasty habit.

Charles: Here’s to all those nasty little habits that we hold so dear.

Inspector: I am willing to bet you ten thousand francs, that the phantom is in Cortina at this very moment. Even, perhaps, in this very room.

Simone: How exciting. What do you think, Mr. Tucker?

Tucker: Oh, I agree with the inspector. You see, Ten of his last fifteen victims have been guests at Angela Dunning’s parties.

Charles: What are we all talking about?

Simone: The notorious Phantom.

Princess: I’m afraid I never heard of him.

Charles: From the little I’ve read about him, he seems to be quite a fellow.

Inspector: Believe me. There are few thieves who are as clever as the Phantom. Each theft is completely different and unique, classic in its conception.

George: I thought you were working on the theory that he does repeat himself.

Inspector: Well, only as far as Angela Dunning’s parties are concerned. However, there is one other duplication, but that is his ah… trademark, his calling card, so to speak. He always leaves a white monogrammed glove.

Princess: Sounds terribly theatrical.

Princess: I was three years old when I rode my first elephant. I was — six, when I went on my first zsrafari, frazari, wild animal hunt. And I was ten, when I bagged my first tiger. But Ill never forget, my lovely little pony.

Charles: When’d you bag him?

Princess: l’m plastered. If that’s the right expression.

Charles: Yes, that’s the right expression.

Princess: You’re a fraud and a liar. And you think you are going to take advantage of me.

Charles: Oh, no. You think l am.

Princess: l know you are. That’s the plan, isn’t it? Feed me champagne, break down the inhibitions, and tally-ho! No more Virgin Queen.

Charles: The majority of women, they have half a glass too much and let down the barriers a little. And they wake up in the morning, riddled with guilt and think they can reclaim their virtue by saying l don’t remember.

Princess: Are you saying my virtue is not intact?

Charles: Hi George. Any idea how we get out of here?

George: I don’t know. I’ve been all over this place. I’ve been up this street, up that one, up that one. How are we gonna get out here?

Charles: Why don’t you try the high road up there?

George: Okay. I’ll take the high road, you take the low road. So long, Uncle Charles.

Charles: Ciao, George.

Simone: George — Oh!

[stumbles on the bed]

George: Well, that’s more like it.

Simone: Now, you should be ashamed of yourself.

George: Oh, l’m planning on it.

My darling. Oh, my darling, don’t move, don’t panic. All that has happened is that my hat has caught in one of your naughty little hairpins. Voila.

There are some very strange things going on here.

Charles: He’s just a young man who’s not been out in the world.

Simone: That’s because he’s been spending all his time in a bedroom.

Charles: l’m surprised at you!

Simone: Oh, l can handle it.

Charles: You’re being ridiculous.

Simone: No. l’m just being a woman. This time you’ve chosen yourself a fascinating victim. I suspect you’ve broken the first rule and allowed yourself to become involved.

Charles: You’re being a woman, all right.

[kiss]

Simone: That’s obvious. Competition always makes a woman obvious.

What kind of candle is zis?

Princess: l’ve read about some of his parties.

Monica: They’re wonderful! We call him the Juggler. l’ve never really known a man like him. He can keep ten girls in the air at once and make each one happy.

Simone! Where is my Surété-Scotland-Yard-type mackintosh?

Inspector: At times like this, I wish I was but a simple peasant.

Simone: It’s times like this that make me realize how lucky I really am.

Any more behaviour like this and I’ll have your stripes!

Charles: You have presented the press with a rather definite image.

Princess: Yes, l know.

Charles: Well, are you?

Princess: What?

Charles: What they call you? The Virgin Queen?

Princess: l’m not a queen.

Gem dealer 1: As in every stone of this size, there is a flaw.

Sultan: A flaw?

Gem dealer 2: The slightest flaw, your excellency.

Gem dealer 1: If you look deep into the stone, you will perceive the tiniest discoloration. It resembles an animal.

Sultan: An animal?

Gem dealer 1: A little panther.

Sultan: Yes! A pink panther. Come here, Dala. A gift to your father from his grateful people. Some day it will be yours. The most fabulous diamond in all the world. Come closer.

Woman: I’ve never really known another man like him. He can keep ten girls in the air at once and make each one happy.

Princess: Amazing, sort of a contemporary Don Juan?

Inspector: Darling. l’m so sorry. l was trying to kiss your foot.

Simone: That’s all right, my dear.

Inspector: Let me kiss your face.

Simone: lt’s all right.

Inspector: My darling. l’m sorry. Come here. That’s it. Nice and comfortable on the bed there.

Inspector: Hello, old bean. Your company insures the Pink Panther.

Tucker: Yes, for half a million.

Inspector: Pounds?

Tucker: Sterling.

Woman: Take your filthy hands off my asp!

Princess: You didn’t tell me the truth.

Charles: About what?

Princess: About champagne! About this. Oh, boy, did you fib. You said something about extremes.

Charles: lt does wonders for them.

Princess: lt does more than that. lt makes your lips numb. Ah, l can’t feel them. Are they still there?

Charles: Let’s have a look.

Princess Dala: You didn’t tell me about that part.

[kiss]

Won’t do you any good. l can’t feel it!

It’s no matter. When you’ve seen one Stradivarius, you’ve seen them all.

Come on, now! Faster! Faster!

[toots horn]

What’s the matter with you? Can’t you drive this thing faster?

[toots horn]

Come on. I tell you, this is the road they’ve gone up.

[toots horn]

Don’t argue with me. I’m telling you, I know where they’ve gone!

Princess: lf you had known my father, you would understand me. He was an absolute ruler. He governed his people with an iron hand. But he gave me a white pony for my fifth birthday. He was wrong about many things, but he made his decisions according to the ways of his predecessors. l learned the way of the West, so l’ve become a little of both, a paradox. And it is hard to reconcile the extremes.

Charles: Have a glass of champagne. Does wonders for extremes. lt’s been known to launch some lasting friendships. Don’t you trust me?

Princess: No.

George: You’ve been avoiding me.

Simone: That about describes it.

George: You know what l’ve been thinking?

Simone: Yes. That’s why l’ve been avoiding you.

Princess: If I were my father, I’d have you tortured.

Charles: No. If you were your father, I doubt very much if I would have kissed you.

Princess Dala: Sort of a contemporary Don Juan.

Monica Fawn: That’s it.

Felix Townes: Ah, there’s a difference! Charles predecessor was forced to climb balconies and fight duels, and, as l understand it, to keep his women separate and apart. Now, Charles, on the other hand, drives a Ferrari, enters with a key, and resorts to collective bargaining.

Angela Dunning: Oh-ohh!

Recommended quote pages

The Pink Panther is a British-American media franchise primarily focusing on a series of comedy-mystery films featuring an inept French police detective, Inspector Jacques Clouseau. The franchise began with the release of the classic Pink Panther film in 1963. The role of Clouseau was originated by and is most closely associated with Peter Sellers. Most of the films were written and directed by Blake Edwards, with theme music composed by Henry Mancini. Elements and characters inspired by the films were adapted into other media, including books, comic books and animated series.
The first film in the series derives its name from the eponymous pink diamond that has an enormous size and value. The diamond is called the «Pink Panther» because the flaw at its center, when viewed closely, is said to resemble a leaping pink panther. The phrase reappears in the title of the fourth film The Return of the Pink Panther, in which the theft of the diamond is again the centre of the plot. The phrase was used for all the subsequent films in the series, even when the jewel did not figure in the plot. It ultimately appeared in six of the eleven films.
The first film in the series had an animated opening sequence, created by DePatie–Freleng Enterprises, featuring The Pink Panther Theme by Mancini, as well as the Pink Panther character. This character, designed by Hawley Pratt and Friz Freleng, was subsequently the subject of his own series of animated cartoons which gained its highest profile when aired on Saturday mornings as The Pink Panther Show. The character would be featured in the opening of every film in the movie series except A Shot in the Dark and Inspector Clouseau.

Production: MGM/Columbia

  1 win & 8 nominations.

 
IMDB:
5.6
Metacritic:
38
Rotten Tomatoes:
22%

Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
I’ve got Bizu in the interrogation room.

Ponton:
What’s the plan?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
I’m going to give him the «good-cop / bad-cop» routine.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
You are the soccer player known as Bizu?

Bizu:
Yes.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
You were acquainted with Yves Gluant?

Bizu:
I am glad he is pushing up daisies.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
He is not pushing up daisies, he is dead!

Bizu:
It’s an idiom.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
You sir, are the idiom!

Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
Now, unless you want to spend the rest of your life in prison, you will answer the next question: Did you kill him?

Bizu:
I would have loved to have killed him, but some lucky bastard beat me to it.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
You disgust me. I’ll be right back! [leaves room]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
[re-enters room] Cigarette?

Bizu:
No. Thanks.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
Good for you. Bizu, I knew you didn’t do it; someone else did, and they are trying to set you up.

Bizu:
You’ll help me?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
Of course I’ll help you. Now, do you have any idea who else might have done this terrible thing?

Bizu:
His partner in those stupid restaurants, Larocque.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
Raymond Larocque, the casino owner.

Bizu:
Gluant would steal money from the restaurants and use it to gamble. My guess is Larocque got fed up and had him killed.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
Bizu, I like you. I’m going to help you. You and I are going to make a great team. [leaves room and shuts door]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
The good cop / bad cop routine is working perfectly.

Ponton:
You know, usually two different cops do that.

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